I am me

"Why does my mommy love me? It is because I am me."

I found these words on Reese's notes app on the iPad. She likes to "dictate" notes like mommy use to do at work. She has heard me her entire life dictate. I can't even tell you how many words. The dictation was always work related. Although it was a daunting task, it was one that had to be completed for patient's charts in medical records.

When I read back to her what I found, she said, "Mom, I know you love me because I am me."

I reaffirmed her and told her she was exactly right.

She is loved more than she could ever know.

 Children have this way of changing how you love. It is a different kind of love. An "I dare you because I can turn into crazy mom" kind of love. :) It changed the way I view my parent's love. And most importantly, my Heavenly Father's love.

There is no one else I would rather her be. As she grows, I pray her confidence continues to grow in who she IS and not in who she IS NOT.

Are you focusing on who you are not? Celebrate "I am me!" Because you are loved more than you could ever know.

Whispers of the Resurrection

It's Monday morning and I can't help but think of the day after resurrection Sunday. This past weekend we spent time with family, friends, and church family. We were able to reflect on what our Savior did for us. The torture, the cross, literally to hell and back…the empty tomb. Such love.

But what about Monday.

Way before Facebook, Instagram, Twitter, blogs and any other social media - words, thoughts, opinions had to travel by good 'ole fashioned word-of-mouth.

I wonder what Monday looked like.

Whispers, shouts, praise, shock, awe, wonder, hope - "He is risen as HE SAID." (Matthew 28:6)

As He said.

What has He said to you? What prayers have you stopped praying? What promise have you let go?

Because of "yesterday," because He lives, because He is the resurrected Savior we have hope for Monday, hope for tomorrow, hope for eternity.

After the "hype" of easter, once I put up the kids' easter baskets and the candy is stale and old.

I can believe in what HE SAID.

May my life reflect the love of a risen Savior, whose words are true.

Stand out.

"I'm your least favorite child."

This was Reese's response the other day when I asked her to do something she didn't want to do.
I literally laughed out loud.

Over the last few weeks, I've been seeing a different side of my sweet baby girl.

She's starting to notice that she IS different. Reese is no doubt unique. But every child is. She and her brother are as different as night and day. Josh and I laugh at the fact that they did both come from us because they couldn't be more opposite. John Rhett is so much like Josh.

It. Is. Scary.

And Reese, well she is me made over except…STRONGER. (And those words came from her Nena, not me).


JR told me a few days ago that Reese said to him, "Bubs, I don't fit in."
He is such a tender hearted soul. He said, "Mom, I had to tell you. She seemed upset."

Later that afternoon, Reese and I were by ourselves. We were playing, singing, and snuggling.

I told her that Bubs mentioned that she was worried that she didn't fit in.

Her big brown eyes began to tear up.

"Mom, sometimes I don't."

She gave me a big hug and just let me hold her.

Now Reese can do her fair share of "fake" crying and "fake" need for attention. But she wasn't. When her feelings are really hurt or she actually is upset about something… you can tell. There are no dramatic pictures, like the ones before bed time.

I got all teary eyed too.

And then said to her exactly what I hope she will NEVER forget. Something Josh and I will continue to instill in her for the rest of her life.

"Baby, you will never fit in because you were made to stand out."

Stand out. No never fit in -ALWAYS STAND OUT.

May we all always stand out.

WHOA-man

Reese was trying to plug something in…

JR: Stop. Let me show you how a man does it.
Reese: (pushes him out of the way) Well, I am about to show you how a WHOA-man does it.


Hilarious.

Long good-byes

Today, I am one month shy of being here in Covington 7 years. When we began to look for an area to live from Jacksonville. Our criteria seemed simple enough, we needed a located close to I-20 and a hospital. Josh and I have always prayed for God's guidance and believe that He will lead us in His perfect timing where we should be. So, when we landed in Covington we knew it would be our new home. We both wanted a small town for several reasons, mainly because as our family grew we wanted our kids to feel like what it was to be part of a community.

I applied for a job as a staff nurse at Newton Medical Center. I was trying to just work one day a week as I finished up graduate school.  I walked into NMC a complete stranger.

Last night, I walked out for the last time as a part of the NMC family. I do use the word "family" on purpose because you can't really leave family. My heart is heavy. I've mentioned to so many of you that I am going to miss being a part of your day to day. Hearing about your families, your vacations, your fun times, your struggles...(thank goodness for Facebook during times like these. ha) I sure hope you all know how valuable you are to me. So, I want to say a HUGE THANK YOU!!!

Thank you for making my "job" enjoyable.

I am sure I'll leave someone out....but by now you should know that would never be my intention.

ER unit secretaries- Thank you for being my personal assistants. I know that is not the "job" you signed up for but you made my job so much easier. Even if you did call me a bazillion times during the day or night and text me just the same, my phone sure is going to be a whole lot more silent without you. :) Your kindness, funny comments made the "I have 6 patients for you" much easier. Always.

NMC nurses - Some of you were there when I was working with you way back when...Thank you for making my transition to NP easy. Thank you for supporting me. But most of all thank you for the laughs, sharing your doughnuts, and your friendship.

Social Work Mommas- I never knew that learning about the "criteria" (oh the "criteria") would lead to such an amazing group of people. Thank you for taking me underneath your wings and loving me. The 3 pm chocolate pick me up was just an excuse to make sure I got to see all of you.

Pharmacist buddies - Thank you for just "fixing" it. For knowing what I meant on most occasions. haha. But seriously, I have appreciated your expertise so much. You all have become some of my very favorite friends. From now on, texts only in emoticons.

Jill Treadwell- Thank you. Thank you for the opportunity to work with you at first as a prn float pool nurse. Your kindness during all my transitions will never be forgotten. You were so wonderful to me as I was finishing graduate school and were so supportive. And you have continued as my roles have changed. You are one of the very few nurse leaders I admire and strive to be.

Ancillary Staff- There are so many of you. I put ancillary just to cover my bases because I could never name all of you without forgetting someone. Thanks for supporting me. Chit- chatting when I felt the need to be chatty (which is pretty much all the time.). Laughing with me. Keeping me straight. But most of all including me in your "world." From maintenance, housekeeping, cafeteria, radiology staff, and anyone else in between you have so encouraging to me. I appreciate you.

NMC Physicians - You all have taught me so much. Thank you for taking time to mentor, support, and guide me. I am grateful.

Amanda- There really isn't enough room to write how many "thank you's" I owe you. Really. I'm serious. All I am going to say is you know. Hopefully that will suffice. And besides the thank you's, I'm in awe of your strength. I've been able to see your character and integrity in so many instances. You are a keeper friend. You really are.... Love you.

Alcovy Hospitalists- (tears) I hope you all know how much I appreciate you. I could never say Thank you enough. To say I will miss you is such an understatement. I am forever indebted. My life is forever changed because of you.

The relationships I have at NMC is what makes the change so difficult. You are forever tucked away in a special spot in my heart. You will be missed more than you could ever know.

Black Bow

I heard Reese say, "Hey "little girl with the pretty black bow""(of course, the name has been changed!) as she was walking into school.  I saw you turn your head, look at her, and turn back around. A little piece of my heart broke. For months now, my sweet little girl has come home almost everyday and mentioned you. She tells me that she compliments you. Something you are wearing because well, Reese notices those things. And she always looks at me with those big brown eyes and says, "Mom, she never even talks to me." I've never seen you until today. You are a little bit older than her and maybe she completely annoys you, maybe she scares you (haha), maybe you are shy, or maybe you are a "mean girl." I'm not sure and I don't hold a grudge against you. I am actually thankful.

You see, I have a very confident daughter but you are making her doubt herself. She is 5 and hasn't seen the harsh reality of life yet. Maybe you haven't either. But you have brought out a qualities in my daughter that I am thankful to see. Persistence and Kindness. I am not sure why she wants your attention or affirmation. It is an interesting side of my daughter that only you have brought out.

And as I prayed for her today, I also prayed for you. I encourage my daughter to continue to be kind. To continue to be a light. Because, maybe she is the only one that ever compliments your pretty black bow.

I know that we are just beginning - There is a lifetime more to navigate with harder lessons to learn but for now we will continue - Continue to love you, continue to pray for you, continue to love your pretty black bow.

1,000 generations

Sweet Emma Grace,

          You won't remember me coming to your "Sip and See" today but I will. It moved me to tears. Reese (my daughter) and I drove in this morning. I wanted to make it to our "home" church. When I walked in, I just smiled.

So many memories.

The familiarity.

Welcoming arms.

Home.

I couldn't even get out of the first hallway without "family" hugs. The big hugs. The ones that are given because they mean it. And then I walked to the foyer and you, your mommy, and daddy were there.
"You can't miss a miracle." That is what I said to your mom. I meant it. There are times in life when we get to be eye witnesses to His faithfulness. Today was one of those days. And you, sweet one, were the miracle.

I sat in the back. Really because I wanted a view of the entire sanctuary and well, with Reese you just never know... We sang. We worshipped. We listened. I watched you being held by those who love you, oh so much.

And as I was there I was able to reflect on His faithfulness and the beauty of faithful people.

You won't have to look hard to see faithful people...

You don't know this yet but your grandfather, Max, had a brain surgery. I can't remember exactly why and can't remember the date but what I do remember is your grandfather was back on the church's lawnmower mowing the grass after 2 weeks.

Your grandmother, Tina, I remember her praying for a whole bunch of self centered teenagers, loving us, feeding us, and mentoring us. I'm sure you've already figured out she gives the best hugs.

Two matriarchs of the church - Sister Odum and Miss Christine. Sitting in "their" spots. Yes, you'll see faithfulness there. Both singing, "It is Well" because they have a lifetime of believing it. And I couldn't help but hope that one day, I'll be the 88 year old attending "baby showers."

You'll hear it from the pulpit. Through a pastor who isn't afraid to preach about hard things like Temptation.

The worship leader and his wife who's heart I've seen first hand. Who lead sopranos, altos, tenors, and basses - their individual voices that even after all these years, I can still pick out.

You may even find it in unlikely places, when it wasn't what you were expecting. I barely got to speak to Tara but yes, she is faithful too. She gives back to teenagers through her time with drama practice.

You'll find it in the encouraging words of faith as Tammy spoke to Crystal about "when" they all throw her baby shower. Big plans for that one. And trust me, you will be there to celebrate another miracle.

This will not come as a surprise but the place you'll know the best to see His faithfulness is your mom. She was bragging, as I was holding you, about what a wonderful little sleeper you are.  And I couldn't help but think about how many sleepless nights she had prior to the miracle of you - praying, begging, believing God for you.

And now you are here. At "OUR HOME" church. I couldn't miss the miracle. You'll find in Hebrews 10:23 a purple highlighted spot with my name. Yes, He who promised IS faithful. If you ever doubt, look around because you can't miss Him in the beauty of His faithful people. Welcome Home, dear child.

Welcome Home.

A MOMent POST

I tend to play songs on repeat. I mean like bad. I'll listen to the same song over and over and over. I'm blaming this on my dad (yay, he made it on the mom page smile emoticon ) Growing up in a worship pastor's home, we listened to thousands and thousands of songs. Mostly on repeat. My brother and I could sing all the parts. We joke all the time about the "Summer of '95" this is when we realized that there were other types of music in the world and learned EVERY word to EVERY country song that Summer. And the funny this is we can still "quote" the majority of the lyrics and crack up about it. We will randomly call each other and not say "Hello" but John Michael Montgomery's "Hey pretty lady want cha gimme a sign. I'd do anything to make you mine all mine." (That was from memory those might not be correct. Sorry JMM)

This morning as I was driving home from the grocery store (torture oh torture) I was listening to a song (on repeat) "Our Only Hope is Jesus." I can't even type those words without tearing up.

"You're healer to the broken. Shepherd to the lost. Father of the orphan adopted by the cross. There's comfort in your arms, it's where our healing starts. Our only hope is Jesus."

Reese (my daughter) recently colored a picture of a lamb in Sunday School. She had learned about the ONE lost sheep in the parable Jesus taught in Matthew 18:12-14. We were discussing why the ONE lost sheep was so important. She said something that I knew but it just hit home when you hear it come so confidently from a 5 year old. "Mom, I was the lost sheep. You were the lost sheep. Jesus came for me." And all I could do was whisper, "Yes."

God sent His ONLY son, Jesus. Because He is faithful to His lost sheep.

In a broken world He knew, OUR ONLY HOPE IS JESUS.

As moms He knows, OUR ONLY HOPE IS JESUS.

We (and I do mean "we" because it takes a TEAM of mommas to do this kind of conference) have been praying for YOU!

Come ready to find the love of a faithful God. Or maybe you'll just be FOUND.

Hebrews 10:23 Let us hold fast the confession of OUR HOPE without wavering, for he who promised IS FAITHFUL.

Booty Drop Disease

So we are leaving a restaurant and Reese sees an interesting pile of something on the curb. She puts her fingers in it and smears it. "It" was bird poop.
I start doing what any medical person does... Contain the mess and start cleaning.
Me: Reese, why did you put your hands in something you have no idea what it is. Birds have nasty things in their poop. Like histoplasmosis. Which she was like whatever.
Josh then does whatever non medical parents do. 
Josh: Reese, birds give you a disease called the booty drop disease. When your booty falls off if you touch bird poop.
Reese: What!!!! And starts crying hysterically.
Awesome fake diseases are way more scary than real ones.
(I did inform her that it wasn't real and dad was just "tricking" her like she sometimes does us.)

Evil - A four letter word

We try to use kind words in our home. We have strict rules on the use of words. John Rhett came home from school recently and said, "Mom, someone said the "s" word at school." I asked, "What word?" "Mom, I can't even say it, it was so bad." "It is okay just tell me so we can talk about it."
"Mom, they said stupid" and I gasped. I was trying not to laugh. But we talk about how important it is for our words to be kind and encouraging. Yes, my kids know the bad words and even the really bad words, I said them and explained them.  I didn't want them to hear it from anyone else. We talked about  how we could choose better words and why we shouldn't use them. My kiddos actually acted responsible and mature (if that is possible for a 5 and 7 year old) about it all. And the not so funny thing is, John Rhett had already heard the majority of them. So, tonight when Reese said, "Mom, Bubs called me a really bad word today." I was a little nervous and curious because that is not John Rhett at all. I asked her what he said.

Reese: Mom, John Rhett called me evil and that is a bad word.
Me: Evil is not a bad word. It isn't nice or kind but it isn't bad. Why did he call you that?
Reese: I have no idea.
Me: (John Rhett come here) Reese, what did you do?
John Rhett: Yes, mom.
Me: Why did you call Reese evil? Do you think she is evil?
Reese: I didn't do anything.
John Rhett: Mom, she hit me and punched me. So, I called her evil.
Me: Reese, why did you hit him?
Reese: Because he was "aggravate" me
Me: Reese, tell Bubs you are sorry. John Rhett, look her in the eye and tell her she is not evil.
Reese: Sorry
John Rhett: I am sorry I called you evil but you are at least mean.

Evil the new four letter word that you can't use to describe your sister.

Lunchtime

I try to go to eat lunch with JR and Reese at least once a week.

Reese specifically asked me this morning. "Mom, will you "PA-lease" eat lunch with us today."

How can you say no to that?

I was feeling lazy with my hair. For me to wash my hair and dry it and then straighten it and then straighten it again takes forever. Yes, I have to straighten it twice, if not it looks like "the lion." "The lion" is a term of endearment Josh uses for my hair when I let it air dry. Because he says it looks like I have a mane. His words, not mine. Thank goodness I am not emotional driven. So, today I just used dry shampoo (it saves my dear life) and put it back in a ponytail.

When Reese saw me walk into the cafeteria, she ran up to me and gave me a hug.
Then she said with this look on her face, "You should not have used the dry shampoo today."

I literally laughed out loud. She was probably right.

I finished up lunch with her and sat with JR's class. A friend of his said, "Miss Amber, I was watching this movie and there was this old lady that was crazy. She kind of reminded me of you."

Again, laughed out loud.

Nothing like a boost to the 'ole self esteem with 5 and 7 year olds. :)

Esther, Joe, & Psalms

So from a previous post you know we've been learning the "Books of the Bible" with this rap/pop song. I love it and the kids do too. I have heard them both singing it randomly. Reese was singing it this morning while I was fixing (true southern term I know) her hair.

Reese: "We got Esther, Joe, and Psalms. These are the gospels go and make disciples."

Me: "Reese, it is JOB not Joe and those aren't the gospels. Matthew, Mark, Luke, and John. Those are the gospels."

Reese: "Well, I like Joe better and all of them make disciples."

 I almost corrected her again but didn't.

Because she is right.

Maybe not about the "Joe" part but about how the whole Word of God "makes" disciples. You can't have the "gospels" without the Esther, "Joe", and Psalms. You can't read any them and not be changed.  Or if you can you better "check yourself before you wreck yourself." (Sorry, I had to :) )

Thankful for wisdom coming from my 5 year old even if she likes 'ole Joe better.

And you should hear her say Habakkuk...priceless. I can't even type the word I think she is saying because it is hers. Have not a clue what she is saying.

Vomiting, Sidekicks, and Her Momma

Today has been "interesting." Interesting is the term I like to use when I really don't know what else to call it.

Around 5 am
Reese: Mom, my stomach hurts.
Me: Do you have to throw up? Do you have to poop?
Reese: No, I just need some water.
Me: Okay (she drank the water on my bedside table and got in my bed)

And then it happened just like it does every time.
Reese: Mom, I am going to "fhrow up" and then buckets of vomit. I was lying on my stomach so she was vomiting on my neck, shoulder, and back. I couldn't move. She was crying. I was trying to get Josh to help. I know that this is something moms do. We get vomited on. But Reese is 5. We have tried to have the "you go to the toilet" speech but poor thing just can not. And we did this 3 times. THREE TODAY.

And you know your mom is in the medical field when you ask for Zofran. By name.

Now the stomach bug is gone and Reese is acting like Reese. While I was giving her the 4th bath of today....

Reese: "Sidekicks do whatever you say."
Reese: "Mom, did you know I have a sidekick?"
Me: "You do?"
Reese: "Yeah, it is daddy."
Me: laughing
Reese: "And bubs"

After the bath we are snuggling, eating saltines, watching American Idol and this girl has on a midriff shirt.

Reese: " Look at her shirt! Her belly is showing."
Me: "I know."
Reese: "What is wrong with her momma?"
Me: "I'm not sure but she must not have seen that shirt."
Reese: "I guess she didn't."

Hoss

I walk in to have lunch with Reese and she is sitting with 6 boys. I sit down with her and they were talking about getting to go play outside and running around the track. All of the little boys were talking about how fast they run and how they could all beat each other. One of them looked at Reese and said, "We all can beat you because you are a girl."

Reese looked at me. Her little face was priceless.

She looked straight at that little boy and said, "You got another thing coming hoss."

I burst out laughing.

The little boy looked confused.

Reese was smiling.

Then she looked at all of them and said, "I'll beat all of you."

Poor, poor boys. They have no idea.

Let me help you

I try to eat lunch with the kiddos once a week. This week I was in a hurry and forgot that my eyeliner was in the car. So, when I pulled up to the school I put it on real quick.

When I sat by Reese at lunch she looked straight at me, licked her finger and said, "Girl, let me help you," and wiped my eyelid with her finger. Apparently, some of my eyeliner had gotten on my eyelid.

She then told me to "check myself" in my camera on my phone.

Extra Prayers

On the way to school we pray. We each take turns. The kids usually fight over who goes first, you know being holy and all. This morning was the usual. It was decided that Reese would go first. She was just a praying and after "Amen" John Rhett started right up.

John Rhett: "Lord,"
Reese: (interrupts) "I forgot to pray for something."
John Rhett: "Reese you are interrupting me. You can say your extra prayer when I am done."
Reese: "You are going to need an extra prayer if you don't let me say mine now."



Well, Hallelujah.

He holds her

This past weekend we had a rescheduled trip. We let the guys come along this time. In April of last year, we had planned a "girl's trip" to the beach. It was early one morning the week before the trip that I received a text. One I definitely was not expecting...."I can't go on the trip. I think I have breast cancer."

Shock. Panic. Faith. Can all of those feelings be wrapped up in a few seconds. Yes, I am sure they can.

I remember falling on my face. Praying and crying. I called Josh. He did the same. Maybe not falling...he was at work but his tone, his concern. I knew he was doing the same thing.

I have an unique perspective. As a medical professional and friend. My mind races. When I first started as a nurse, I worked in oncology. I gave chemo. I loved patients and their families. I've held their hands and seen last breaths. I've experienced sacred. The medical professional, well, we learn to be stoic. The friend, not so much. The friend loses it.

We met Lisa and Doyle in 2008. We were at a party and our boys were playing. We talked all night and if you some of you know all of us...I am sure you can see how that was possible. :) Our sons ended up in the same pre-school class the next year and the rest is history.


So, this weekend was a time to reflect. Time to rejoice. After almost a year of diagnosis, chemo, hair loss, weight loss, mastectomy, reconstructive surgery, reconstructive surgery gone wrong, more chemo, scans after scans...Lisa is cancer-FREE. She continues her journey this week. Radiation. Hysterectomy. Reconstructive Surgery. We were just sitting on the couches talking. Shocker I know.

And I saw it.

 I can still picture it in my mind and it moves me to tears. Lisa was talking about His faithfulness through tears and laughter. She mentioned her thoughts on dying. That cancer is now part of her reality.  Although we know our God is healer and she is CANCER-FREE...(did I mention that), she has found joy in the fight of fear and faith. Joy that found her during the darkest moments that I am not privy to. Joy that found her when she was vomiting and bed bound. Joy that gets her through each day.

That kind of joy is strength. Strength found through scars. Nail scars. And that moment in the mountains, I saw it. Sun beaming in on her as she sat snuggly on the couch just talking. Sacred.

I saw what it is to know you are held.

I kissed her (almost) bald head when we left and said, "I love you." I couldn't have hugged her if I wanted to. I would have fallen apart. But when we got in the car, I looked at Josh and cried.

The Savior of the world. He holds her.

Student of the Month

 Today we will celebrate John Rhett as "Student of the Month."

We are so proud of him. He is a very good student. He likes to call himself a nerd.

That just makes me smile.

Because Josh and I both are nerds too.

Last evening, I was putting the kiddos to bed. After prayer time, which trust me I need to be video taping their prayers because they are so pure and so funny...

John Rhett: Mom, tomorrow is my student of the month recognition.
Me: I know. I am so proud of you.
John Rhett: Reese, have you ever gotten student of the month.
Reese: What's that?
John Rhett: It is where your teacher notices that you have been a good student. Maybe you got better at something or were well behaved.
Reese: I'm never going to be student of the month.

She has high ambitions that girl.

It is only money

Both of the kids were jumping on a chair in my room. We have been over this at least one thousand times. I was still kind of out of it because I had to work night shift the night before so, I was in "la-la land." Half awake, half asleep...if you've ever worked nights you know what I am talking about.

Reese: Bubs, you can't jump as high as me.
JR: I am jumping higher than you right now.
Reese: No you aren't. I wish you were but you aren't.
JR: I am too. (He is getting frustrated. He stops jumping and runs to me.) Well, I beat you to mom.
Reese: I wasn't racing.
JR: I still beat you.
Reese: I don't care because I want to jump.
JR: What if you won $1000 if you beat me?
Reese: It is only money. I'm jumping.

As much as Reese has made me almost lose my mind in so many circumstances because she is SO strong-willed (which I might add I prayed for) I was so thankful to hear her little raspy voice in that conversation with her brother.

She is so strong-willed and determined. I pray as we continue to guide her in HIS ways that she will continue to jump. She is going to change her world.

Karaoke - Let It Go

Just like every other household in the world, we have watched Frozen a bazillion times. Reese LOVES the music.

Reese started walking at 9 months old. And once she realized she could climb she would take a chair, put it in the middle of the floor, climb on top of it, and sing to the top of her lungs. There have been several occasions that she will sing the entire soundtrack to Frozen in one setting and pretty much dare us to move. We have clapped, cheered, and yelled about how awesome she did. If we didn't she would say, "excuse me" or "you didn't cheer loud enough."

Poor John Rhett. He can't stand to listen to Frozen. He might have enjoyed it the first or second go around but he is over it.

Reese knows this and she knows how to push his buttons. She can get him mad, angry, frustrated in a second.

We got Reese a karaoke machine for Christmas. I'm not really sure why we thought this was a great idea. After the first song on Christmas morning, Josh was asking where the mute button was located.

(Today upstairs in Reese's room.)
Reese had been singing for probably 30 minutes straight the group Unspoken's latest album. If you haven't heard of them or their songs, trust me it is worth the money. John Rhett today said, "Mom, I can tell they love Jesus." John Rhett had been waiting patiently his turn on the karaoke machine and he wanted to sing one of Unspoken's songs.

Reese: Ok, Bubs I've got your song for you. (hits play and the beginning of Frozen starts)
John Rhett: (breaks down crying) Why would you do this to me? Why Reese? Why?

That little stinker changed the CD when he wasn't looking. I laughed. I couldn't help it. She is too smart for her own good sometimes.

Little Lady

I am constantly telling Reese, "act like a lady," "sit like a lady," "little ladies do not act like that" so this made me laugh today.

Me: How was your day at school?
Reese: It was great. I didn't get in trouble. But this silly boy, he stuck his tongue at me. It hurt my feelings because I am a little lady.
Me: What did you do? (She has gotten in trouble at school for punching a little boy in the face so, I was bracing myself)
Reese: I gave him my meanest look and he stuck that tongue back in his face.

My sweet little lady

Break My Heart

This past Sunday we were challenged instead of making our own "New Year's Resolutions" to re-think the whole idea. The scripture was Nehemiah Chapter 1. Which just happens to hold such a special place in my heart! I did a Bible Study on the book of Nehemiah by Kelly Minter and to say I loved it would be an understatement. In the first chapter, Nehemiah is broken for his "people" and Jerusalem. Go read it.
His story is incredible.

We were encouraged to re-think the whole idea and instead of the resolution being about "us" for it to be about others and how we could carve out time for something that "breaks our hearts." I'm praying about it. What breaks my heart? So many things...

I wanted to hear my kid's take on it. For this RE:SOLUTION (as it is called) to be for our whole family. Here's our conversation.

Me: What breaks your hearts?
Reese: Well, it breaks my heart when Bubs acts like he is going to put his boogers on me.
Me: John Rhett do you do that? And Reese that is gross.
Reese: It breaks my heart into little pieces.
John Rhett: I pretend I am going to do it but I never do.
Me: Ok, we are off track. What breaks your heart? Like when you think about it makes you want to do something?
Reese: I know. When people know that they are dying. That breaks my heart.
John Rhett: When people are hungry.
Me: How could we make some time for that...
Reese: I could draw them pretty pictures. That will be easy because all my pictures are pretty.
John Rhett: I don't know mom. Feed them?
Me: Those are great ideas!!!

We've agreed on a plan. Reese is going to draw some pretty pictures and we are going to contact a local hospice for them to give to some of their patients. John Rhett is going to choose some food items he would like to donate to Backpack Buddies and use his chore money.

Backpack Buddies- I can barely type that without crying. This organization is amazing. They identify children who may not eat ALL weekend and send them home with a backpack filled food on Fridays to get through until Monday when they return to school. Heart breaking.

We are pretty excited about our RE:SOLUTION. I'll keep you posted!!

Books of the Bible

"These are the books of the Bible.
When we read them it makes us stronger.
 And we learn about our heavenly Father.
When we read all the books of the Bible. "

A catchy little rap that my kids are currently using to memorize all the books of the Bible. These are Reese's first 3 books..

Reese: Genesis, Exodus, Lovinkiss...
Me: Say that again
Reese: Genesis, Exodus, Lovinkiss
Me: (laughing) Reese, it is Leviticus
Reese: Actually, it is Lovinkiss because that is what it sounds like.


Not sure what your Bible says but ours says "Lovinkiss."

Behind the Scenes

When I began to pray about starting this blog, I knew it was going to need more people than just me.

I have NO (and I mean NO) idea about graphic design and/or photography (Instagram doesn't count).

I wanted the design to have PURPOSE. I have a friend, Dara Lynn Rieger who blogs and recently had a design overhaul and I LOVED it. (I love her blog and highly recommend reading it ) She's real, vulnerable, "Mae" have a Reese on her hands,  and loves her family and Jesus. I contacted Dara Lynn and she gave me Danielle's information.

Danielle Burkleo = the graphic designer extraordinaire.

I felt bad for Danielle because all I told her was the name and what I liked.

Arrows and Acorns. Which of course have absolutely NOTHING to do with puddles or jumping.  And  no stripes. That is what she had to go on. What she created was nothing short of fabulous.

So this is to explain ARROWS and ACORNS.

"Children are a gift from the Lord a reward from the Him, LIKE ARROWS in the hand of a warrior..." (Psalm 127: 3-4) I love that scripture. It is humbling and challenging. John Rhett and Reese are my arrows (ok Josh's too) and I (we) am/are the WARRIORS. Some days I don't feel like a warrior. I feel weak, defeated, and broken. I am tired, no make that exhausted, and the thought of bedtime (which if you know my kids is disastrous) makes me "crazy mom." (this is a term of endearment that is a warning to both me and my kids that mom is about to lose it.) And other days, I feel like I've got it going on. I am THE mom of the year. Make that the century. Until of course, bedtime.

My brother and sis-in-law (Derek and Jill) for Christmas got me two perfect presents. A bracelet and a beautiful sign (handmade) that states "Like Arrows." (insert crying emoticon)

Across the word Adventures you will see the arrows. Brilliant.

When Reese attended preschool at First Baptist Academy everyday she would come home with acorns.   They would be in her pockets and in her back pack. I mean everywhere. And I love them. I've kept them by my bedside. The acorns fell from a huge oak tree that overshadows the playground. That sweet baby girl would always take some of her "play" time to pick acorns up for me. Priceless. A great reminder for me as a mom because there is also a scripture reference here - "They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of HIS splendor. " Isaiah 61:3

That is my ultimate parenting goal that my children will be displays of HIS splendor. My "job" is to point my little arrows in HIS direction so that Jesus Christ may be glorified.

On either side of the "logo" see the tiny little acorns!! Love.

This blog would not be complete without the talented Brian Kitchens (and his family). Brian has captured what I like to call the "not real" pictures of our family. These are the pictures that have been edited, photoshopped, and displayed as our Christmas cards. During the "shoot" I am 100% convinced that they will look terrible because we can't seem to get it together and somehow he makes it work. He has captured some of my very favorite pictures of my children that I will cherish forever. So this past photo op I had him grab one of just me, which he edited and photoshopped- I am sure even if he denies it.

But way beyond photography, Brian and Melissa are our friends. I mean real friends. Ones that are God-sent. Like descended from the throne room of the Most High and I am not even kidding.

When we had to fill out the emergency forms at school for our kids, their names are there. John Rhett asked me and Josh separately one day, "Mom, if something happened and you couldn't come get me from school who would?" I said, "Brian or Melissa." JR responded, "Dad said the same thing."

We have laughed, cried, and prayed together. They offered to take our 2 with their 4 - yes a total of 6 kids- for the evening this past Sunday for a sleep over. When I walked in their home to put the bag down, Melissa said, "don't look at my house." I said, "don't worry mine looks worse and we have no groceries so my kids ate honeybuns for breakfast." Her response, "ours had lunchables and vienna sausages." And we burst out laughing. Real folks. Who just happen to love us and others so very well.

So thank you. I am so grateful.

RAIN

I do not like rain.
Never have.
It seems to be an inconvenience to whatever I am trying to do.
I remember as a little girl listening to the rain and waiting for the thunder and then lightening. It scared me. Especially if it woke me from sleep. (And if it ever did, I blinked- making sure I wasn't mistaking the thunder for the rapture...if you were raised in church you know the "twinkling of an eye." I was making sure.)
Even as an adult rain makes my hair frizz, makes me nervous to drive in, and usually happens when I need to go to the grocery store. Ugh.

Physical rain is one thing but when there is "rain" in your life it is a completely different situation. Storms of life are altering. They cause your perspective to change. They humble you.

When my kids were around 3 and 18 months, I was really challenged by God to have a heart for "my home." Parenting was much more challenging and difficult than I expected it to be. I began to seek God more and His will for our family. I began to seek opportunities to grow and serve.

One day leaving school with Reese (she was around 2), it had rained and she asked if she could jump in a puddle. And I said yes. So, we found the biggest puddle we could and jumped in it. We were soaked. We laughed and found more. Another mom from the school stopped and said to me, "you are a much better mom than me." I didn't really have a response and so I just smiled. I know I am not a "better" mom. I was just trying to have a little fun with my big brown eyed girl and for that moment, it was puddle jumping. I now know it was more for me than her. From that day on, anytime it rains Reese never gets caught up with the inconvenience of rain. She looks for puddles. The bigger the better. And now, I do too.

My kids challenge me every single day. They make me laugh. They make me cry (sometimes a good cry and sometimes the ugly cry). They remind me of what is important. They encourage me to draw closer to Christ.

We literally puddle jump anytime there is a puddle  (sometimes oil gets mistaken as water but that is another post :) ).

My prayer for my life, my kid's lives, and yours is that we will continue to seek out opportunities to jump. When the rain is hard, cold, and you can barely see what is ahead you look for the puddles. Adventure awaits. This is our story of puddle jumping.