Stand out.

"I'm your least favorite child."

This was Reese's response the other day when I asked her to do something she didn't want to do.
I literally laughed out loud.

Over the last few weeks, I've been seeing a different side of my sweet baby girl.

She's starting to notice that she IS different. Reese is no doubt unique. But every child is. She and her brother are as different as night and day. Josh and I laugh at the fact that they did both come from us because they couldn't be more opposite. John Rhett is so much like Josh.

It. Is. Scary.

And Reese, well she is me made over except…STRONGER. (And those words came from her Nena, not me).


JR told me a few days ago that Reese said to him, "Bubs, I don't fit in."
He is such a tender hearted soul. He said, "Mom, I had to tell you. She seemed upset."

Later that afternoon, Reese and I were by ourselves. We were playing, singing, and snuggling.

I told her that Bubs mentioned that she was worried that she didn't fit in.

Her big brown eyes began to tear up.

"Mom, sometimes I don't."

She gave me a big hug and just let me hold her.

Now Reese can do her fair share of "fake" crying and "fake" need for attention. But she wasn't. When her feelings are really hurt or she actually is upset about something… you can tell. There are no dramatic pictures, like the ones before bed time.

I got all teary eyed too.

And then said to her exactly what I hope she will NEVER forget. Something Josh and I will continue to instill in her for the rest of her life.

"Baby, you will never fit in because you were made to stand out."

Stand out. No never fit in -ALWAYS STAND OUT.

May we all always stand out.

WHOA-man

Reese was trying to plug something in…

JR: Stop. Let me show you how a man does it.
Reese: (pushes him out of the way) Well, I am about to show you how a WHOA-man does it.


Hilarious.

Long good-byes

Today, I am one month shy of being here in Covington 7 years. When we began to look for an area to live from Jacksonville. Our criteria seemed simple enough, we needed a located close to I-20 and a hospital. Josh and I have always prayed for God's guidance and believe that He will lead us in His perfect timing where we should be. So, when we landed in Covington we knew it would be our new home. We both wanted a small town for several reasons, mainly because as our family grew we wanted our kids to feel like what it was to be part of a community.

I applied for a job as a staff nurse at Newton Medical Center. I was trying to just work one day a week as I finished up graduate school.  I walked into NMC a complete stranger.

Last night, I walked out for the last time as a part of the NMC family. I do use the word "family" on purpose because you can't really leave family. My heart is heavy. I've mentioned to so many of you that I am going to miss being a part of your day to day. Hearing about your families, your vacations, your fun times, your struggles...(thank goodness for Facebook during times like these. ha) I sure hope you all know how valuable you are to me. So, I want to say a HUGE THANK YOU!!!

Thank you for making my "job" enjoyable.

I am sure I'll leave someone out....but by now you should know that would never be my intention.

ER unit secretaries- Thank you for being my personal assistants. I know that is not the "job" you signed up for but you made my job so much easier. Even if you did call me a bazillion times during the day or night and text me just the same, my phone sure is going to be a whole lot more silent without you. :) Your kindness, funny comments made the "I have 6 patients for you" much easier. Always.

NMC nurses - Some of you were there when I was working with you way back when...Thank you for making my transition to NP easy. Thank you for supporting me. But most of all thank you for the laughs, sharing your doughnuts, and your friendship.

Social Work Mommas- I never knew that learning about the "criteria" (oh the "criteria") would lead to such an amazing group of people. Thank you for taking me underneath your wings and loving me. The 3 pm chocolate pick me up was just an excuse to make sure I got to see all of you.

Pharmacist buddies - Thank you for just "fixing" it. For knowing what I meant on most occasions. haha. But seriously, I have appreciated your expertise so much. You all have become some of my very favorite friends. From now on, texts only in emoticons.

Jill Treadwell- Thank you. Thank you for the opportunity to work with you at first as a prn float pool nurse. Your kindness during all my transitions will never be forgotten. You were so wonderful to me as I was finishing graduate school and were so supportive. And you have continued as my roles have changed. You are one of the very few nurse leaders I admire and strive to be.

Ancillary Staff- There are so many of you. I put ancillary just to cover my bases because I could never name all of you without forgetting someone. Thanks for supporting me. Chit- chatting when I felt the need to be chatty (which is pretty much all the time.). Laughing with me. Keeping me straight. But most of all including me in your "world." From maintenance, housekeeping, cafeteria, radiology staff, and anyone else in between you have so encouraging to me. I appreciate you.

NMC Physicians - You all have taught me so much. Thank you for taking time to mentor, support, and guide me. I am grateful.

Amanda- There really isn't enough room to write how many "thank you's" I owe you. Really. I'm serious. All I am going to say is you know. Hopefully that will suffice. And besides the thank you's, I'm in awe of your strength. I've been able to see your character and integrity in so many instances. You are a keeper friend. You really are.... Love you.

Alcovy Hospitalists- (tears) I hope you all know how much I appreciate you. I could never say Thank you enough. To say I will miss you is such an understatement. I am forever indebted. My life is forever changed because of you.

The relationships I have at NMC is what makes the change so difficult. You are forever tucked away in a special spot in my heart. You will be missed more than you could ever know.

Black Bow

I heard Reese say, "Hey "little girl with the pretty black bow""(of course, the name has been changed!) as she was walking into school.  I saw you turn your head, look at her, and turn back around. A little piece of my heart broke. For months now, my sweet little girl has come home almost everyday and mentioned you. She tells me that she compliments you. Something you are wearing because well, Reese notices those things. And she always looks at me with those big brown eyes and says, "Mom, she never even talks to me." I've never seen you until today. You are a little bit older than her and maybe she completely annoys you, maybe she scares you (haha), maybe you are shy, or maybe you are a "mean girl." I'm not sure and I don't hold a grudge against you. I am actually thankful.

You see, I have a very confident daughter but you are making her doubt herself. She is 5 and hasn't seen the harsh reality of life yet. Maybe you haven't either. But you have brought out a qualities in my daughter that I am thankful to see. Persistence and Kindness. I am not sure why she wants your attention or affirmation. It is an interesting side of my daughter that only you have brought out.

And as I prayed for her today, I also prayed for you. I encourage my daughter to continue to be kind. To continue to be a light. Because, maybe she is the only one that ever compliments your pretty black bow.

I know that we are just beginning - There is a lifetime more to navigate with harder lessons to learn but for now we will continue - Continue to love you, continue to pray for you, continue to love your pretty black bow.

1,000 generations

Sweet Emma Grace,

          You won't remember me coming to your "Sip and See" today but I will. It moved me to tears. Reese (my daughter) and I drove in this morning. I wanted to make it to our "home" church. When I walked in, I just smiled.

So many memories.

The familiarity.

Welcoming arms.

Home.

I couldn't even get out of the first hallway without "family" hugs. The big hugs. The ones that are given because they mean it. And then I walked to the foyer and you, your mommy, and daddy were there.
"You can't miss a miracle." That is what I said to your mom. I meant it. There are times in life when we get to be eye witnesses to His faithfulness. Today was one of those days. And you, sweet one, were the miracle.

I sat in the back. Really because I wanted a view of the entire sanctuary and well, with Reese you just never know... We sang. We worshipped. We listened. I watched you being held by those who love you, oh so much.

And as I was there I was able to reflect on His faithfulness and the beauty of faithful people.

You won't have to look hard to see faithful people...

You don't know this yet but your grandfather, Max, had a brain surgery. I can't remember exactly why and can't remember the date but what I do remember is your grandfather was back on the church's lawnmower mowing the grass after 2 weeks.

Your grandmother, Tina, I remember her praying for a whole bunch of self centered teenagers, loving us, feeding us, and mentoring us. I'm sure you've already figured out she gives the best hugs.

Two matriarchs of the church - Sister Odum and Miss Christine. Sitting in "their" spots. Yes, you'll see faithfulness there. Both singing, "It is Well" because they have a lifetime of believing it. And I couldn't help but hope that one day, I'll be the 88 year old attending "baby showers."

You'll hear it from the pulpit. Through a pastor who isn't afraid to preach about hard things like Temptation.

The worship leader and his wife who's heart I've seen first hand. Who lead sopranos, altos, tenors, and basses - their individual voices that even after all these years, I can still pick out.

You may even find it in unlikely places, when it wasn't what you were expecting. I barely got to speak to Tara but yes, she is faithful too. She gives back to teenagers through her time with drama practice.

You'll find it in the encouraging words of faith as Tammy spoke to Crystal about "when" they all throw her baby shower. Big plans for that one. And trust me, you will be there to celebrate another miracle.

This will not come as a surprise but the place you'll know the best to see His faithfulness is your mom. She was bragging, as I was holding you, about what a wonderful little sleeper you are.  And I couldn't help but think about how many sleepless nights she had prior to the miracle of you - praying, begging, believing God for you.

And now you are here. At "OUR HOME" church. I couldn't miss the miracle. You'll find in Hebrews 10:23 a purple highlighted spot with my name. Yes, He who promised IS faithful. If you ever doubt, look around because you can't miss Him in the beauty of His faithful people. Welcome Home, dear child.

Welcome Home.