Tuesday, August 30, 2016

Halfway Through

Tomorrow is the birthday I've been dreading. I've been crying all day just in preparation for it.

It is a sad cry. It is a happy cry. It is an "I can't believe it" cry.

John Rhett tomorrow you turn 9. This birthday you are halfway through our home. You know this…I've been telling you this forever. That this birthday was gonna get your momma.  You are such tender soul. You've been saying such sweet things to help your basket case mom. Things like, "Well, you know you are going to college with me." "I'm just going to move my family in when I grow up." "No one loves me like you do, momma."

Now I know parenting never ends. Which is both heartwarming and a little daunting. I know at age 33, Nena and Big are still parenting me. So, I know at age 18 - I'm not  "done with you." You've got the wrong momma for that :) but it is just the thought of knowing in such a short time - your room will not have a bazillion legos in it or clothes all over the floor. I won't tuck you in and you won't "anchor down" anymore.

I can't believe how fast 9 years have flown by and we have a lot of growing up to do but 9 more years doesn't seem like enough time.

Tonight, I just snuggled and held you at bedtime and I prayed for you. I don't know in years to come if you will remember it but I meant every word.

I didn't pray for this to be your best birthday ever. I didn't pray for you to grow up to be happy. I didn't pray for you to be successful.

I prayed for you to know your purpose. I am believing that you will know God's will for your life and walk in your purpose. AND NOTHING WILL DETER YOU.  If you are walking in your purpose according to God's will then all the other stuff just works itself out but as your dad says, "You got to work hard and be tough."

You will have pain. It is guaranteed. But I've lived long enough to have learned - there is purpose in that too.

Regardless of the - path you choose - successes - failures - "atta boys" - mistakes - I support YOU.

I see your gifts and talents. I see how you care about those in need. I see what a wonderful friend you are.  I see that you are humorous. I see how you are kind.

YOU ARE GOING TO DO GREAT THINGS.

And although I tend to be a "wordy" person (you get that from me - at least that is what your daddy says) I could never put in words how I feel about you or how you have changed my life.

You were gifted to me.
God gave me, you.
I am so grateful, thankful, and humbled to be your mom.
Here's to the next 9 years.

I love you more than that……...

MOM