Long good-byes

Today, I am one month shy of being here in Covington 7 years. When we began to look for an area to live from Jacksonville. Our criteria seemed simple enough, we needed a located close to I-20 and a hospital. Josh and I have always prayed for God's guidance and believe that He will lead us in His perfect timing where we should be. So, when we landed in Covington we knew it would be our new home. We both wanted a small town for several reasons, mainly because as our family grew we wanted our kids to feel like what it was to be part of a community.

I applied for a job as a staff nurse at Newton Medical Center. I was trying to just work one day a week as I finished up graduate school.  I walked into NMC a complete stranger.

Last night, I walked out for the last time as a part of the NMC family. I do use the word "family" on purpose because you can't really leave family. My heart is heavy. I've mentioned to so many of you that I am going to miss being a part of your day to day. Hearing about your families, your vacations, your fun times, your struggles...(thank goodness for Facebook during times like these. ha) I sure hope you all know how valuable you are to me. So, I want to say a HUGE THANK YOU!!!

Thank you for making my "job" enjoyable.

I am sure I'll leave someone out....but by now you should know that would never be my intention.

ER unit secretaries- Thank you for being my personal assistants. I know that is not the "job" you signed up for but you made my job so much easier. Even if you did call me a bazillion times during the day or night and text me just the same, my phone sure is going to be a whole lot more silent without you. :) Your kindness, funny comments made the "I have 6 patients for you" much easier. Always.

NMC nurses - Some of you were there when I was working with you way back when...Thank you for making my transition to NP easy. Thank you for supporting me. But most of all thank you for the laughs, sharing your doughnuts, and your friendship.

Social Work Mommas- I never knew that learning about the "criteria" (oh the "criteria") would lead to such an amazing group of people. Thank you for taking me underneath your wings and loving me. The 3 pm chocolate pick me up was just an excuse to make sure I got to see all of you.

Pharmacist buddies - Thank you for just "fixing" it. For knowing what I meant on most occasions. haha. But seriously, I have appreciated your expertise so much. You all have become some of my very favorite friends. From now on, texts only in emoticons.

Jill Treadwell- Thank you. Thank you for the opportunity to work with you at first as a prn float pool nurse. Your kindness during all my transitions will never be forgotten. You were so wonderful to me as I was finishing graduate school and were so supportive. And you have continued as my roles have changed. You are one of the very few nurse leaders I admire and strive to be.

Ancillary Staff- There are so many of you. I put ancillary just to cover my bases because I could never name all of you without forgetting someone. Thanks for supporting me. Chit- chatting when I felt the need to be chatty (which is pretty much all the time.). Laughing with me. Keeping me straight. But most of all including me in your "world." From maintenance, housekeeping, cafeteria, radiology staff, and anyone else in between you have so encouraging to me. I appreciate you.

NMC Physicians - You all have taught me so much. Thank you for taking time to mentor, support, and guide me. I am grateful.

Amanda- There really isn't enough room to write how many "thank you's" I owe you. Really. I'm serious. All I am going to say is you know. Hopefully that will suffice. And besides the thank you's, I'm in awe of your strength. I've been able to see your character and integrity in so many instances. You are a keeper friend. You really are.... Love you.

Alcovy Hospitalists- (tears) I hope you all know how much I appreciate you. I could never say Thank you enough. To say I will miss you is such an understatement. I am forever indebted. My life is forever changed because of you.

The relationships I have at NMC is what makes the change so difficult. You are forever tucked away in a special spot in my heart. You will be missed more than you could ever know.

Black Bow

I heard Reese say, "Hey "little girl with the pretty black bow""(of course, the name has been changed!) as she was walking into school.  I saw you turn your head, look at her, and turn back around. A little piece of my heart broke. For months now, my sweet little girl has come home almost everyday and mentioned you. She tells me that she compliments you. Something you are wearing because well, Reese notices those things. And she always looks at me with those big brown eyes and says, "Mom, she never even talks to me." I've never seen you until today. You are a little bit older than her and maybe she completely annoys you, maybe she scares you (haha), maybe you are shy, or maybe you are a "mean girl." I'm not sure and I don't hold a grudge against you. I am actually thankful.

You see, I have a very confident daughter but you are making her doubt herself. She is 5 and hasn't seen the harsh reality of life yet. Maybe you haven't either. But you have brought out a qualities in my daughter that I am thankful to see. Persistence and Kindness. I am not sure why she wants your attention or affirmation. It is an interesting side of my daughter that only you have brought out.

And as I prayed for her today, I also prayed for you. I encourage my daughter to continue to be kind. To continue to be a light. Because, maybe she is the only one that ever compliments your pretty black bow.

I know that we are just beginning - There is a lifetime more to navigate with harder lessons to learn but for now we will continue - Continue to love you, continue to pray for you, continue to love your pretty black bow.

1,000 generations

Sweet Emma Grace,

          You won't remember me coming to your "Sip and See" today but I will. It moved me to tears. Reese (my daughter) and I drove in this morning. I wanted to make it to our "home" church. When I walked in, I just smiled.

So many memories.

The familiarity.

Welcoming arms.

Home.

I couldn't even get out of the first hallway without "family" hugs. The big hugs. The ones that are given because they mean it. And then I walked to the foyer and you, your mommy, and daddy were there.
"You can't miss a miracle." That is what I said to your mom. I meant it. There are times in life when we get to be eye witnesses to His faithfulness. Today was one of those days. And you, sweet one, were the miracle.

I sat in the back. Really because I wanted a view of the entire sanctuary and well, with Reese you just never know... We sang. We worshipped. We listened. I watched you being held by those who love you, oh so much.

And as I was there I was able to reflect on His faithfulness and the beauty of faithful people.

You won't have to look hard to see faithful people...

You don't know this yet but your grandfather, Max, had a brain surgery. I can't remember exactly why and can't remember the date but what I do remember is your grandfather was back on the church's lawnmower mowing the grass after 2 weeks.

Your grandmother, Tina, I remember her praying for a whole bunch of self centered teenagers, loving us, feeding us, and mentoring us. I'm sure you've already figured out she gives the best hugs.

Two matriarchs of the church - Sister Odum and Miss Christine. Sitting in "their" spots. Yes, you'll see faithfulness there. Both singing, "It is Well" because they have a lifetime of believing it. And I couldn't help but hope that one day, I'll be the 88 year old attending "baby showers."

You'll hear it from the pulpit. Through a pastor who isn't afraid to preach about hard things like Temptation.

The worship leader and his wife who's heart I've seen first hand. Who lead sopranos, altos, tenors, and basses - their individual voices that even after all these years, I can still pick out.

You may even find it in unlikely places, when it wasn't what you were expecting. I barely got to speak to Tara but yes, she is faithful too. She gives back to teenagers through her time with drama practice.

You'll find it in the encouraging words of faith as Tammy spoke to Crystal about "when" they all throw her baby shower. Big plans for that one. And trust me, you will be there to celebrate another miracle.

This will not come as a surprise but the place you'll know the best to see His faithfulness is your mom. She was bragging, as I was holding you, about what a wonderful little sleeper you are.  And I couldn't help but think about how many sleepless nights she had prior to the miracle of you - praying, begging, believing God for you.

And now you are here. At "OUR HOME" church. I couldn't miss the miracle. You'll find in Hebrews 10:23 a purple highlighted spot with my name. Yes, He who promised IS faithful. If you ever doubt, look around because you can't miss Him in the beauty of His faithful people. Welcome Home, dear child.

Welcome Home.

A MOMent POST

I tend to play songs on repeat. I mean like bad. I'll listen to the same song over and over and over. I'm blaming this on my dad (yay, he made it on the mom page smile emoticon ) Growing up in a worship pastor's home, we listened to thousands and thousands of songs. Mostly on repeat. My brother and I could sing all the parts. We joke all the time about the "Summer of '95" this is when we realized that there were other types of music in the world and learned EVERY word to EVERY country song that Summer. And the funny this is we can still "quote" the majority of the lyrics and crack up about it. We will randomly call each other and not say "Hello" but John Michael Montgomery's "Hey pretty lady want cha gimme a sign. I'd do anything to make you mine all mine." (That was from memory those might not be correct. Sorry JMM)

This morning as I was driving home from the grocery store (torture oh torture) I was listening to a song (on repeat) "Our Only Hope is Jesus." I can't even type those words without tearing up.

"You're healer to the broken. Shepherd to the lost. Father of the orphan adopted by the cross. There's comfort in your arms, it's where our healing starts. Our only hope is Jesus."

Reese (my daughter) recently colored a picture of a lamb in Sunday School. She had learned about the ONE lost sheep in the parable Jesus taught in Matthew 18:12-14. We were discussing why the ONE lost sheep was so important. She said something that I knew but it just hit home when you hear it come so confidently from a 5 year old. "Mom, I was the lost sheep. You were the lost sheep. Jesus came for me." And all I could do was whisper, "Yes."

God sent His ONLY son, Jesus. Because He is faithful to His lost sheep.

In a broken world He knew, OUR ONLY HOPE IS JESUS.

As moms He knows, OUR ONLY HOPE IS JESUS.

We (and I do mean "we" because it takes a TEAM of mommas to do this kind of conference) have been praying for YOU!

Come ready to find the love of a faithful God. Or maybe you'll just be FOUND.

Hebrews 10:23 Let us hold fast the confession of OUR HOPE without wavering, for he who promised IS FAITHFUL.

Booty Drop Disease

So we are leaving a restaurant and Reese sees an interesting pile of something on the curb. She puts her fingers in it and smears it. "It" was bird poop.
I start doing what any medical person does... Contain the mess and start cleaning.
Me: Reese, why did you put your hands in something you have no idea what it is. Birds have nasty things in their poop. Like histoplasmosis. Which she was like whatever.
Josh then does whatever non medical parents do. 
Josh: Reese, birds give you a disease called the booty drop disease. When your booty falls off if you touch bird poop.
Reese: What!!!! And starts crying hysterically.
Awesome fake diseases are way more scary than real ones.
(I did inform her that it wasn't real and dad was just "tricking" her like she sometimes does us.)

Evil - A four letter word

We try to use kind words in our home. We have strict rules on the use of words. John Rhett came home from school recently and said, "Mom, someone said the "s" word at school." I asked, "What word?" "Mom, I can't even say it, it was so bad." "It is okay just tell me so we can talk about it."
"Mom, they said stupid" and I gasped. I was trying not to laugh. But we talk about how important it is for our words to be kind and encouraging. Yes, my kids know the bad words and even the really bad words, I said them and explained them.  I didn't want them to hear it from anyone else. We talked about  how we could choose better words and why we shouldn't use them. My kiddos actually acted responsible and mature (if that is possible for a 5 and 7 year old) about it all. And the not so funny thing is, John Rhett had already heard the majority of them. So, tonight when Reese said, "Mom, Bubs called me a really bad word today." I was a little nervous and curious because that is not John Rhett at all. I asked her what he said.

Reese: Mom, John Rhett called me evil and that is a bad word.
Me: Evil is not a bad word. It isn't nice or kind but it isn't bad. Why did he call you that?
Reese: I have no idea.
Me: (John Rhett come here) Reese, what did you do?
John Rhett: Yes, mom.
Me: Why did you call Reese evil? Do you think she is evil?
Reese: I didn't do anything.
John Rhett: Mom, she hit me and punched me. So, I called her evil.
Me: Reese, why did you hit him?
Reese: Because he was "aggravate" me
Me: Reese, tell Bubs you are sorry. John Rhett, look her in the eye and tell her she is not evil.
Reese: Sorry
John Rhett: I am sorry I called you evil but you are at least mean.

Evil the new four letter word that you can't use to describe your sister.

Lunchtime

I try to go to eat lunch with JR and Reese at least once a week.

Reese specifically asked me this morning. "Mom, will you "PA-lease" eat lunch with us today."

How can you say no to that?

I was feeling lazy with my hair. For me to wash my hair and dry it and then straighten it and then straighten it again takes forever. Yes, I have to straighten it twice, if not it looks like "the lion." "The lion" is a term of endearment Josh uses for my hair when I let it air dry. Because he says it looks like I have a mane. His words, not mine. Thank goodness I am not emotional driven. So, today I just used dry shampoo (it saves my dear life) and put it back in a ponytail.

When Reese saw me walk into the cafeteria, she ran up to me and gave me a hug.
Then she said with this look on her face, "You should not have used the dry shampoo today."

I literally laughed out loud. She was probably right.

I finished up lunch with her and sat with JR's class. A friend of his said, "Miss Amber, I was watching this movie and there was this old lady that was crazy. She kind of reminded me of you."

Again, laughed out loud.

Nothing like a boost to the 'ole self esteem with 5 and 7 year olds. :)